no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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