This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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