How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
