it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
