He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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