i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
