He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
