What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
