We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
