Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
