I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
