she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
