ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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