She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
