he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
