Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
