is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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