To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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