I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
