You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
