If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
