so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
