Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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