DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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