Dual....:-)
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
