I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
