Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Even my vagina gasped.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
