i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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