I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
