I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
