plz talk dirty to me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
