you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
