well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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