apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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