Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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