am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
