Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
