Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
