Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
