If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
