There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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