someone threw a dead crab at me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
