he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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