New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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