I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
