I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
