I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize