You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
