last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
