If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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