Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
