I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
