Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
