But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
