Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
