Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
