that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize