all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
