Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
