Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
