Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
