dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
