He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
