he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
