dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
