I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
