nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
