What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
These tits shall not be calmed
You ruined the universe
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
