I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
