You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize