Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
