it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
