It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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