At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
