you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
