Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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