i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
