He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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