dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize