I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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