I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
