Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
