Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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