do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
