I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
