hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
