So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
