Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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