Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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